Self-Esteem Is A Result of Pay-Value

Self-esteem is defined by behavioral expert, Connie Podesta, as appreciating ones own worth, importance, and having the character to be accountable for oneself and to act responsibly toward others. Self-esteem is of little value if the person who has it does not also have compassion and a nurturing attitude toward others.

            Self-esteem is not an end unto itself. While no one denies that the feeling of self-worth is important, a lot of times we overlook the fact that it must be earned as a result of being successful at something that has value. When children have to extend mental or physical energy, time, and effort to reach tangible goals, they are building self-esteem that has pay-value. Children are smart enough to know when adults give continual meaningless praise just to make the child feel good. Self-esteem is not rooted in feel good statements, but in achievement and acquiring new competencies.

            It is normal for kids to suffer some insecurities and lack of self-confidence, this is when adults can help support and encourage children to continue to work toward tangible goals. It would be a wonderful world if everyone was successful at everything, but the reality is that is not true. Therefore, part of parenting is to help children understand disappointments and still see their self-worth.

            Some of the most notorious criminals have had good self-esteem but they lacked compassion and a nurturing attitude toward others. They viewed the world from the standpoint of how can “my” needs and wants be fulfilled regardless of others. Adults need to guard against the focus of “I” which leads to egotism, when helping their child build a positive self-esteem.